Self-esteem can have a big role to play in how you feel about yourself and also how much you enjoy things or worry about things.

To understand self-esteem, it helps to break the term into two words. Let's first take a look at the word esteem (say: ess-teem), which means that someone or something is very important, special, or valuable likely, if you really admire your friend's mum because she volunteers at the fire department, it means you hold him in high esteem. And the special trophy for the most valuable player on a team is often called an esteemed trophy. This means the trophy stands for an important accomplishment.

And self means, well, yourself! So put the two words together and it's easier to see what self-esteem is. It's how much you value yourself and how important you think you are. It's how you see yourself and how you feel about the things you can do.

Self-esteem isn't about feeling big, it’s about getting to know what you are good at and not so good at. A lot of us think about how much we like other people or things, but don't really think much about whether we like ourselves.

It's not about thinking you're the best, because nobody is best. Even if you think some other kids are good at everything, you can be sure they have things they're good at and things that are difficult for them.

The most important thing to know about self-esteem is that it means seeing yourself in a positive way that's realistic, which means that it's the truth. So if you know you're really good at beating drum but can't dance so well, you can still have great self-esteem!
 How to develop your self esteem.
Manage your inner critic. Notice the critical things you say to yourself. Would you talk to a best friend like that? A harsh inner voice just tears us down. If you're in the habit of thinking self-critically, re-train yourself by rewording these negative unkind thoughts into more helpful feedback.

Focus on what goes well for you. Are you so used to focusing on your problems that they're all you see? Next time you catch yourself dwelling on problems or complaints about yourself or your day, find something positive to counter on it. Each day, write down three good things about yourself, and/or three things that went well that day because of your action or effort and that brings a lot of change.

Aim for effort rather than perfection. Some people get held back by their own pressure to be perfect. They lose out because they don't try. If you think, "I won't audition for the play because I probably won't get the lead," it's guaranteed that role will go to someone else.

View mistakes as learning opportunities. Accept that you will make mistakes. Everyone does. They're part of learning. Instead of thinking, "I always mess up" remind yourself that it's not about always, just this specific situation. What can you do differently next time?

Edit thoughts that get you feeling inferior. Do you often compare yourself with others and come up feeling less accomplished or less talented? Notice what you're thinking. Something like: "She's so much better than I am. I'm no good at baseball. I should just stop playing" leads to feeling inferior, not to feeling good about yourself, comparison is not good don't feel inferior.

Remind yourself that everyone excels at different things. Focus on what you do well, and cheer on others for their success. Thinking more like this: "She's a great basketball player — but the truth is, I'm a better musician than athlete. Still, I'll keep playing because I enjoy it." helps you accept yourself and make the best of the situation.

Try new things, and give yourself credit. Experiment with different activities to help you get in touch with your talents. Then take pride in your new skills. Think about the good results. For example: I signed up for track and found out I'm pretty fast! These positive thoughts become good opinions of yourself, and add up to self-esteem.

Recognize what you can change and what you can't. If you realize that you're unhappy with something about yourself that you can change (like getting to a healthy weight), start today. If it's something you can't change (like your height), work on accepting it. Obsessing about our "flaws" can really skew your opinion of yourself and bring down your self-esteem. Most of the time, other people don't even notice these things!

Set goals. Think about what you'd like to accomplish. Then make a plan for how to do it. Stick with your plan, and keep track of your progress. Train your inner voice to remind you of what you are accomplishing. For example: "I've been following my plan to exercise every day for 45 minutes. I feel good that I've kept my promise to myself. I know I can keep it up."

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